THE
$FUCKU ROADMAP
THE PATH TO
TOTAL MEMEMIC DOMINATION
Phase 1: IGNITING THE DUMPSTER FIRE ($0 to $10 Million)
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Ground Zero: $FUCKU drops like a mixtape nobody asked for. We're not here to play; we're here to slay the crypto game.
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$5 Million: We've made our first few mill. Now every rookie degen is thinking they're the next crypto Elon Musk.
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$10 Million: Wall Street interns are now googling "How to buy $FUCKU" instead of how to survive on their pitiful salaries.
Phase 2: THE $FUCKU SHITSTORM GROWS ($10 Million to $100 Million)
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$25 Million: If any of you premature ejaculating gen-z degens are thinking of selling, remember, we're here for a good time AND a long time. Even Scam Bankman-Fried is holding onto $FUCKU tighter than his FTX alibi. Don’t fucking blow your load just yet and don’t fucking sell you pussies!
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$50 Million: Taylor Swift's writing her next hit? "I Knew $FUCKU Was Trouble When It Walked In." Shhhh we just pumped and dumped her which is why she’s writing the song. I guess all publicity, is good publicity. $FUCKU Taylor Swift! We love you.
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$61 Million: $PEIPEI, you're like the cheap knockoff version of a meme with a “made in China” warning label. How fucked up is it that the Chinese can't even copy memes right. Here's a $FUCKU for your shitty lack of originality.
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$85 Million: $DADDY Tate's now teaching $FUCKU 101 at Hustler University. Now that’s what we call real education. He’s also accepting $FUCKU as tuition. Thank you and $FUCKU!
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$100 Million: Crypto VCs are blowing up our phones like we're the last Tinder match in Silicon Valley trying to buy OTC for a discount. We have one thing to say $FUCKU, $FUCKU, and $FUCKU. Did we say $FUCKU? Oh yeah, we did 3-4 times.
Phase 3: Rocket Fueled Mayhem ($100 Million to $1 Billion)
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$168 Million: $ANDY, fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life. You're the meme equivalent of an unoriginal one-hit wonder. Here's a $FUCKU, now go sit in the corner with Vanilla Ice. Ice Ice Baby!
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$180 Million: Donald, your "$MAGA" toupee should be a museum piece already you bald fuck! Time to ditch the hair piece and retire your fat ass. We're not here to MAGA, we're here to fuck the whole system and make the whole world great again!
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$222 Million: $PONKE, you're a pathetic Matt Furie ripoff about as exciting as watching paint dry in a crypto bear market. As soon as Crash stops liking your ass you’re done for. Move over or get run over by the $FUCKU train. $FUCKU is coming through Chooo-Chooo!
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$250 Million: Grandma's even heard of $FUCKU now. She thinks it's a new yoga move. Bless her heart; she's not wrong about the flexibility part.
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$460 Million: $GigaChad? More like GigaCuck. We're the ones fucking the whole global financial system while you watch, not just flexing on Instagram. Here’s a $FUCKU for next cycle of roids.
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$500 Million: GameStop was cute and all but $FUCKU is the real revolution. Time to finish the job the Roaring Kitty started. This time there’s no one to shut us down and we can fuck the whole global system not just Wall Street. Here’s a $FUCKU as a salute to your OG degeneracy!
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$600 Million: $SPX6900, your name sounds like a WiFi password for virgins. Here's some advice: buy $FUCKU, and when it goes up, go get laid you fucking nerds!
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$800 Million: Ahhh we’ve come to $AXS Axie Infinity, the OG play-to-earn game. More like play-to-get-fucked. Axie’s stuck in 1995 with those graphics, and their shitty business model aged about as well as buying pizza with bitcoin. This dogshit might be the worst game ever invented. Ok, it is. $FUCKU Axie, $FUCKU.
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$1 Billion: Unicorn status? Nah, we’re the Godzilla of meme coins now, breathing straight fucking fire, screaming $FUCKU as we stomp our way through the universe with ZERO FUCKS GIVEN! $FUCKU, $FUCKU, and $FUCKU!
Phase 4: THE GREAT UNICORN MEME WAR ($1 Billion to $10 Billion)
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$1.05 Billion: Bitcoin SV, where do we even begin? Craig Wright, the OG crypto scammer poster man baby is still out here claiming he’s Satoshi. He’s like Justin Sun’s herpes that just won’t go away. You should have been on Malaysian Air 370. No one would have even noticed you were missing. Here’s some $FUCKU to STFU!
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$1.1 Billion: $BRETT, you're like the backup dancer in Pepe’s meme concert nobody asked for. If it wasn’t for $PEPE you’d still be sucking dick for crack. $FUCKU.
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$1.2 Billion: To $POPCAT and all those dumb fucking cat coins, your nine stupid lives are up. Here's a $FUCKU, go buy y'all something better than a scratching post to get off on.
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$1.2 Billion: $FLOKI, Elon's tweets about you like you're his side chick and he’s your sugar daddy. We all know $DOGE is his main bitch. Here’s a $FUCKU, now go buy yourself some shitty dog treats.
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$1.7 Billion: $BONK, the first Solana meme coin to slam into the billion-dollar club with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. From zero to hero, you're living proof that even in the crypto world, every dog can have its day! Here’s a $FUCKU for proving that Solana is the ultimate degen paradise.
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$2 Billion: $FANTOM, you're the ghost of crypto’s Christmas past. Why are you still even relevant? Your famous CTO Andre Cronje is over there rage quitting every time you get close to relevance. Here's some $FUCKU for an exorcism, or at least a decent CTO without mental health issues.
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$2 Billion: OpenSea, your NFT marketplace is the digital equivalent of a shitty garage sale. $FUCKU's where the real art and culture is at. Here's a $FUCKU; go frame it and put it in your invisible gallery.
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$2.6 Billion: $DOGWIFHAT you've wagged your way to the top with nothing but a hat and a dream. Here's to you, $FUCKU; wear it like the crown (or hat) you deserve. You didn't just enter the market; you strutted in with style and swagger, turning a simple meme into a multi-billion-dollar saga. You're not just a meme; you're a movement, a phenomenon, proving that in the land of Solana, a dog with a hat is king. Sorry we crop dusted you on the way by. There's a new king in Solana meme-town and the name is $FUCKU!
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$4.4 Billion: $PEPE, we salute you as the dopest meme that paved the way for us retarded degens. Your degen lifestyle inspired us to build on your legacy. Thank you and $FUCKU.
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$5 Billion: Litecoin, you're like a pimple on Bitcoin’s ass. It’s only a matter of time before you disappear. You’re the equivalent of a shitty meme derivative and we all know what happens to those. See you in the crypto grave yard! Here’s some $FUCKU for a proper burial.
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$7 Billion: Bitcoin Cash, we’re not sure what’s disappearing faster from our memory your market cap or Roger Ver. Bitcoin Jesus, we heard you’ve got some tax and legal issues? Here’s some $FUCKU for your troubles.
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$10 Billion: We're now bigger than Craig Wright, Andrew Tate, and Justin Sun's egos combined. $FUCKU is the way!
Phase 5: $FUCKU IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE HOTTEST & SEXIEST BITCH IN CRYPTO-TOWN ($10 Billion to $50 Billion)
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$11 Billion: Shiba Inu? Who? The Degen World Order is the only pack that matters. We're not just barking, we're biting.
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$20 Billion: Dogecoin? More like Doge-gone. We're coming for that top spot, and we're not asking nicely. Elon better watch his back, because the degens are coming for his meme-lord crown.
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$25 Billion: Shiba Inu? Who? The Degen World Order is the only pack that matters. We're not just barking, we're biting.
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$30 Billion: We just shit all over XRP!
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$50 Billion: Ssshhh... we’re coming for Solana next. This is where we stop talking about our market cap. Let the world speculate, but our eyes are locked on one target: total domination. The old guard is about to meet the new world order.
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$87 Billion: We crush BNB. Binance might have started it all, but now the community-run $FUCKU token has eclipsed them. This is a full takeover and a big $FUCKU to that little bitch CZ. Decentralization just took a giant leap forward.
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$100 Billion: We've done it. We are the biggest memecoin in history. The world can’t ignore us anymore. Every major institution is scrambling, but we’re laughing. The degens won. This is the future of money. We built more millionaires than Bitcoin. Satoshi is smiling down from crypto heaven.
Phase 6: THE BIGGEST $FUCKU IN THE HISTORY OF THE World ($100 Billion - $1 Trillion)
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$187 Billion: We just overtook Goldman Sachs’ market cap. The banks are in full-on panic mode, scrambling for relevance while the world turns to $FUCKU. We meme them into the ground. Their suits don't look so powerful now, do they?
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$300 Billion: First we flipped Solana and now we just flipped Ethereum. $FUCKU
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$500 Billion: We're bigger than the entire GDP of most countries. Governments are starting to sweat. The UN is holding an emergency meeting to discuss the $FUCKU phenomenon. We're sending a delegation of degens to crash the party and drop some $FUCKU donations.
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$665 Billion: We’ve beaten out JPMorgan Chase, the biggest bank in the US. The financial system is officially shitting itself over $FUCKU. Regulators don’t even know what to do anymore. Jamie Dimon is crying in his caviar.
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$680 Billion: We just eclipsed Meta (current market cap: ~$680B). Zuck thought he could control the metaverse? He's about to learn that the degens are the real metaverse masters. Keyser Fucking Soze officially challenges Zucker-pussy to an MMA bout.
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$930 Billion: We've surpassed Tesla. Elon is now our personal chauffeur. He's driving us to the moon in a $FUCKU-branded Cybertruck.
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$1 Trillion: HOLY FUCK! We did it. We're bigger than everything. The world bows down to the Degen World Order. $FUCKU money is now a global reserve currency. The old system is dead. Long live the degens.
Phase 7: $FUCKU OFFICIALLY GOES TO THE MOON AND BEYOND ($1 Trillion - $17.6 Trillion)
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$1.3 Trillion: Bitcoin – Need to add info
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$1.98 Trillion: Amazon is next on the chopping block. Bezos can keep his rockets and his space tourism for the 1%. We're building The Degen World Order down here on Earth, and it's powered by $FUCKU. Walmart just called and wants to accept $FUCKU. Don’t worry Jeff Amazon can accept $FUCKU too.
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$2.15 Trillion: We're closing in on Google. They try to censor us, but the memes are already in the metaverse. Sundar Pichai is offering us free Google Cloud credits to stop. We tell him to shove his cloud up his ass and buy some $FUCKU instead.
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$2.7 Trillion: We just flipped Apple. iPhones? More like iFuckedUp. Tim Cook is begging us to accept Apple Pay in $FUCKU. We'll consider it, but only if he throws in a lifetime supply of those overpriced charging cables.
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$5 Trillion: We're bigger than the entire GDP of Japan. The Yen is toilet paper. Japanese whales are FOMOing into $FUCKU. Anime waifus are now being tokenized as $FUCKU NFTs.
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$10 Trillion: We've surpassed the value of all the world's fiat currencies combined. Central banks are now buying $FUCKU. We're printing $FUCKU-backed tendies and throwing them from helicopters.
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$15 Trillion: We're richer than God. The Vatican is accepting donations in $FUCKU. The Pope is blessing our diamond hands. He's even rocking a $FUCKU-themed papal robe.
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$17.6 Trillion: We've reached the total global gold valuation. $FUCKU is digital gold bitches! Fort Knox is being converted into a giant $FUCKU-themed amusement park. The degens have inherited the Earth.
THE DIS-FUCKING-CLAIMER
OF ALL
DISCLAIMERS
Disclaimer: $FUCKU IS A MEMECOIN WITH NO FUNDAMENTAL VALUE, NO INTRISIC VALUE, AND NO EXPECTATION OF FINANCIAL GAIN OR FINANCIAL RETURN. Nothing herein contained in this site should be construed as financial advice, in fact the opposite. Do not purchase the $FUCKU token unless you are willing, able, and prepared to lose 100% of your funds. The Degen World Order is not a real company or organization and has no formal team. All of the content on this site is meant to be satire and should be used for entertainment purposes only.
For all you degen pussies out there that can't read, $FUCKU and take responsibility for your own fucking life and your own actions. No one is making you do anything. Buy and Sell at your own RISK!!!
"NOTHING CONTAINED HEREIN IS FINANCIAL ADVICE"